Blog

What if we told you that most of the things which worry you as a parent could be improved by regular family meals? It may sound crazy, but over the last twenty years study after study has shown that sitting down for a family dinner can boost children’s self-esteem, build their resilience and improve their academic performance and behaviour.

To be honest, I have never taken family dinners seriously until recently. But the more I read, the more I realise that it may be an ultimate parenting hack, which can help parents raise happy and successful children. 

Why are family meals important?

I came across this idea in “The secrets of happy families” (check out our summary) by Bruce Feiler some time ago. He writes:

“A recent wave of research shows that children who eat dinner with their families are less likely to drink, smoke, do drugs, get pregnant, commit suicide, and develop eating disorders. Additional research found that children who enjoy family meals have larger vocabularies, better manners, healthier diets, and higher self-esteem.” 

And get this:

“Mealtime was more influential than time spent in school, studying, attending religious services, or playing sports.” 

Wow. Sounds convincing to give regular family dinners a go. 

We started to dig a little dipper, and it turns out that the physical, mental and emotional benefits of regular family meals are numerous. 

Here are our favourite five reasons why families should eat dinner together.

1 – Children who have regular family dinners have better eating habits and are physically healthier.

Research suggests that families who eat together are more likely to make better food choices. And of course, children are very likely to model parent’s eating habits. The research from Stanford University also suggests that children who regularly eat family dinners are less obese and eat more fruits and vegetables.

2 – Family dinners help to build resilience in children.

Scientists say that family dinners are the perfect setting for nurturing resilience in our children. How? By simply using the dinner time to tell children more about our family! Psychologist Marshall Duke argues that the more children know about their family, the more resilience and self-esteem they have (check out his TED talk). 

 3 – Regular family dinners help children boost self-esteem and trust.

Spending time together over a meal promotes a sense of “belonging”. When we encourage our children to talk about their day and genuinely listen to them, we show that we value and respect who they are and that they are important to us. 

4 –  Children sharing meals with parents have better grades.

Series of studies from the University of Michigan and The National Center On Addiction And Substance Abuse at Columbia University (CASA) revealed that regular family mealtimes were strongly associated with fewer behaviour problems and better academic achievement. You can use family dinner time to promote family values and virtues – that’s the key to success.

5 – Families who have regular family dinners have stronger family bonds.

Family dinners improve the overall well-being of children and nurture the bonds within the family. Research suggests that having regular family meals can boost children’s mood and help them build better developmental skills, including setting and respecting boundaries, receiving and giving support, and maintaining a positive self-identity. 

Family meals challenge – how can you make it work for you?

According to studies, families enjoy shared family meals much less often than before. And that is a global trend. One of the main reasons is our modern lifestyle, which doesn’t leave much space for quality time together as a family. And it seems like everything in our lives conspires against regular family dinners:

• Parents are too busy – we work long hours and have loads of additional commitments. Often, family members’ schedules are totally misaligned, and it becomes challenging to find time for a shared family meal so nobody would starve to death whilst waiting. Working from home may make things worse sometimes – quick dinner while on a call anyone?
• Children are too busy – often, they are just swamped with extracurricular activities and homework. And they need to squeeze some socializing in between as well (including online). Can’t blame them for choosing something else over a family dinner.
• Too much technology destruction – technology diminishes our connection with others. If only had TVs in our childhood, now we have a whole bunch of technology, this, subconsciously, makes us believe that there are better things to do than family dinners. Or we think that we can combine both (spoil alert – you can’t if you want to reap all the benefits of a family meal). 

“Ok. You are right. There is no time for the daily family dinner! It’s impossible!” – some might say. And that’s ok. If there is a problem, there is always a solution. 

Here are a few tips to make family meals work:

• If you can’t gather everyone at the table for dinner every night, aim for once a week (e.g. a weekend dinner if weekdays are hectic). It’s not about quantity, mostly it’s about quality time spent together as a family.
• If you all had a busy evening and had dinner at different times, try to gather together for an evening snack or drink (well, milk, hot chocolate and tea are still drinks ☺). The main point is to chat and connect with each other after a busy day.
• You can try family breakfasts if dinners don’t work for your family. Or maybe even lunch if everyone is working from home and your children are homeschooled. 
• Struggling with finding time to cook dinners (cheers to all working parents)? That’s ok if you order food or get something pre-cooked. Or just have breakfast cereal (seriously, why not?). 
• Prioritise family dinners and schedule the shared meals in everyone’s calendar. 

At the end of the day, it’s not about the food itself. It’s all about family bonding and genuine connection. 

Here is a question for you – for when would you like to schedule your next family meal? Breakfast? Dinner? Or maybe lunch when all the family members are sitting down, having a meal, talking and genuinely connecting with each other (with no technology involved and no rush)?

Next time we’ll share some tips on how to make the most out of your family time together ☺

Loads of love,

Irina and Dawid