Level 35 unlocked!

My mind still thinks I’m in my early twenties, but the mirror reminds me that I’m not. Crow’s feet? Check. Grey hair? Double check. Fun times.

Not long ago, I stumbled upon Tim Urban’s blog post called “Your Life in Weeks” on Wait But Why. It hit me like a ton of bricks (seriously, check it out!). Then I found this age calculator thing online and seeing my life visually represented felt like a major reality check. There’s actually a limited number of weeks I get on this planet.

Crazy, right? Suddenly, 35 feels like a significant chunk of time. Like, a whole third of my life is already done!

Even if I’m still figuring things out like everyone else (admit it, we all are), I’ve gathered some wisdom in those 3.5 decades.

So, today, I’ve decided to celebrate by sharing some of the biggest lessons I’ve learned on the way. I hope some of them will resonate with you.

Let’s dive in.

35 Things I’ve Learned in 35 Years

1. Life Is Short. Carpe Diem. We cling to the illusion of endless time, but it’s a precious resource (see the visual above). Seize the day, embrace adventure, and truly experience each moment. Remember, time waits for no one. Be wise with how you spend it.
2. Know Thyself. Everything starts with self-awareness. Understanding your strengths, weaknesses, values, and passions is the foundation for a fulfilling and authentic life.
3. You can have everything, but you can’t have everything all at once. You have the potential to be a CEO, a super parent, a top athlete, a successful entrepreneur, a literary rockstar – the sky’s the limit. But you can’t be everything simultaneously. Prioritise what truly matters at each stage of your life.
4. Knowledge is not power. Applying this knowledge is. Every time you learn something new, figure out a way to make it happen.
5. The only person you can change is yourself. Don’t waste your time and energy on trying to change others. It’s a recipe for frustration. Accept who they are and focus on yourself.
6. All the growth happens outside of your comfort zone. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Embrace the awkwardness, push your boundaries relentlessly, and watch yourself transform into a stronger, more resilient you.
7. Don’t compete with your loved ones. Compete with the world and with your “yesterday self”. Timeless wisdom from my dad.
8. Social comparison is a happiness killer. Sure, it can light a fire under your butt sometimes, but mainly it just breeds anxiety and misery. Focus on your own journey, live with integrity, and compare yourself only to your “yesterday self”.
9. Love is a verb. It requires action, effort, and commitment.
10. You are 100% responsible for your life. Don’t be a passive passenger. Take full responsibility for your actions, choices, feelings, and goals and ditch the victim mentality. If you don’t own your life, someone else will.
11. If there is a problem, there must be a solution. Always. Hone your creative problem-solving skills – everything is figureoutable.
12. Life is full of challenging quests and suffering – build resilience. Bad things happen to good people. All the time. Challenges are inevitable, so focus on building your resilience. It’s your trusty shield that can protect you from all the curve balls that life throws your way. 
13. We cannot control what happens to us in life, but we can definitely control how we feel and act about it. Our attitude shapes our experiences. No matter how tough things get, you choose how you respond.
14. Use emotions as a compass. They point you towards the actions you need to take to reach your goals. Negative feelings (like sadness, anger, fear) are basically flashing neon signs highlighting what needs fixing in your life.
15. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. Don’t be afraid of rejection or looking stupid. If you want something, ask for it.
16. Sleep is your superpower. Indeed. A good night’s rest impacts your health, mood, brainpower, and basically your entire existence.
17. Behind every conflict is an unmet need. Always look deeper to understand the unmet needs driving behaviours and emotions.
18. Forgiveness is good, but understanding is better. When you truly understand someone’s behaviour from their perspective, there’s no blame to assign and no need for forgiveness. People act in ways that make sense from their point of view; otherwise, they would act differently.
19. Your mind is the architect of your reality. It shapes your thoughts, feelings, actions, and even your body. Want to change something in your life? Revamp your mindset first.
20. Pursue what is meaningful. Forget trophies and trinkets. Set your sights on goals that resonate with your deepest values, that ignite a fire within you, and that go far beyond yourself. Meaningful goals will energise your existence.
21. Habits are building blocks of success. Small steps completed consistently over time will always create a radical difference. A daily routine built on good habits and discipline separates the most successful people from everyone else. Embrace the power of the compound effect.
22. Savour the small moments. A child’s laughter, a breathtaking sunset, a quiet morning coffee with your loved one. Find joy in little things and savour the deliciousness of life’s pleasures and wonders.
23. There is no success without failure. Every failure presents us with invaluable data that propels us closer to our goals and offers opportunities for improvement. And these lessons are priceless.
24. Marry someone who shares your core values. That’s the bedrock of any thriving relationship. Finances, kids, the whole “what-does-the-future-look-like” picture – if you’re wildly mismatched, it’s like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. Not impossible, but prepare for some serious friction.
25. Kids learn from their parents’ behaviour. Behave yourself. Your kids absorb your behaviour like a sponge. Want to raise decent humans? Then, you have to be a decent human yourself. Every action, every reaction, becomes a tiny lesson they file away for later.
26. Focus on pursuing your best instead of getting better. “You should do better” – that nagging self-doubt is your enemy, a constant critic whispering you’re not enough. Instead, focus on being the best. When you commit to being the best – you simply show up and put in the hard work without wasting energy on self-doubt. Forget “better” – it’s a judgment. “Best” is the ongoing pursuit fueled by self-encouragement and the relentless drive to grow.
27. Live in a place you love (and don’t be afraid to change). The place you call home, the community you belong to – these things significantly contribute into your well-being. Find a place that resonates with your values, sparks joy and fuels your spirit.
28. See a world of plenty. Ditch the scarcity mentality—it’s limiting. See a world brimming with possibility, overflowing with opportunities, and pulsing with the potential to achieve anything you set your mind to. It’s liberating.
29. Boredom inspires great projects. Sometimes, the most brilliant ideas spark in the quiet corners of our minds. Embrace solitude, allow yourself to be bored, and witness the seeds of creativity blossom.
30. In order to say “No” to others, you need to say “YES” to yourself first. Without that, establishing boundaries becomes a constant battle. To say “YES!” to yourself, you need to spend time reflecting on what is important to you and how you can achieve it. Once you know where you are heading, it is easier to navigate and say “NO!” to everything that takes you off course.
31. Play more. Play is the secret sauce to happiness. Regardless of age, find your “play personality” and embrace the activities that set your soul on fire.
32. Put your phone away when you are around people who matter to you. Real connection thrives on presence, not pixels. When you’re with loved ones, be fully present. Screens disconnect us from each other and erode relationships.
33. Start before you are ready. You’ll never feel fully prepared to take on important challenges in life. To make progress, you need to take that first step. Then, muster the courage for the second one. Before you know it, you’ll be strolling, making strides toward your dream.
34. Talk Less, Listen More. The best communicators are not the loudest voices, but the most attentive ears. Master the art of active listening – it will transform your life.
35. Most of the stuff you own is just clutter. It weighs you down, physically and mentally. You don’t need most of it. Here’s the truth: 80% of your happiness comes from 20% of your possessions. Embrace the minimalist badass within, simplify your life and make space for what truly matters.

And that’s a wrap on 35 lessons learned in 35 years! I could keep going, but these are the things that stand out to me the most.

I’m curious to hear about your own major life lessons in the comments below!

Loads of love,

Irina