The Family CEO job is probably one of the most demanding in the world—loads of multitasking, working long hours and having no weekends. But like with any other job, the best way to reduce the stress load is by having a good system in place.
Not long ago, I was checking out the best TED talks on parenting, and one video instantly caught my eye: Agile Programming – for your family by Bruce Feiler:
As a former management consultant with a big experience in project management, I fell in love with this idea. So I immediately read Feiler’s book The Secrets of Happy Families and the original Starr Family’s white paper Agile Practices for Families: Iterating with Children and Parents.
And now, when our children are a bit older, I made a New Year’s Resolution to implement Agile tools at home.
This month, we embarked on our Agile adventure.
What is Agile, and why it’s great for families?
If you are not familiar with the agile concept, here is a brief overview.
Agile is a popular work process mainly used by software developers and project managers. At the heart of it is the concept of a team – the Agile method values collaboration and each member’s equal contribution to a process. The idea is that the team manages itself with constant feedback and status updates. The agile method is based on adaptive planning, evolutionary development, continuous improvement and encourages rapid and flexible response to change.
To me, it makes perfect sense to implement it at home:
We’ve got a big team. We’ve got a constantly changing environment. And we’ve got an aspiring goal of raising independent and responsible adults.
Agile is what we need.
Perfect way to transform chaos into order.
I also pulled together my thoughts on the potential long-term benefits for families. Here is a brief summary:
1. Less stress
That’s one of the greatest perks. Agile helps everyone to get on top of their tasks, plan better, communicate effectively and resolve issues quickly. Importantly, it infuses a sense of control, crucial for reducing perceived stress.
2. Promotes executive skills development
Agile method gives an excellent opportunity for parents to brush up on their executive skills and teach them to their children. And as Feiler highlights in the book:
“Scientists at the University of California and elsewhere found that kids who plan their own time, set weekly goals, and evaluate their own work build up their prefrontal cortex and other parts of the brain that help them exert greater cognitive control over their lives. These so-called executive skills aid children with self-discipline, avoiding distractions, and weighing the pros and cons of their choices.”
Great win.
3. Promotes autonomy
It is liberating for parents when children start doing stuff independently. Agile approach helps children gradually build autonomy while parents get more time for productive work. And shall I mention that autonomy is super important for children as it helps build their confidence, self-esteem and independence?
4. Improves family bonding
When you deliberately dedicate time to your family, the bond between its members strengthens. And it’s super healthy for everyone’s mental health. At the same time, when we feel connected to each other, we are more likely to cooperate! That means more listening and less yelling.
5. Great opportunity to communicate your Family Values
It’s also a great way to communicate your family values and show children what they mean in action! Again, it strengthens the bond and increases the odds of the desired behaviour.
6. Improves happiness level
Agile approach helps us to create an autotelic family context so everyone experiences more flow and feels happier. In his insightful book Flow, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi writes:
“Children who grow up in family situations that facilitate clarity of goals, feedback, feeling of control, concentration on the task at hand, intrinsic motivation, and challenge will generally have a better chance to order their lives so as to make flow possible.”
7. Boosts productivity
Agile promotes accountability. And accountability raises the possibility of getting stuff done. I would even say that Agile family management is probably one of the best productivity hacks for busy parents and children.
One more note here. Not long ago, I came across Stephen Covey’s inspirational book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families. One of his key messages is that all successful families are very well organised. In a way, his suggestions in the book go hand in hand with the agile approach.
Our plan
I made a plan for our family – this month, we will try to adopt the following components:
- Introduce Morning Checklists
- Have weekly Family Meetings
- Introduce the chore chart
- Create a reward system
I don’t expect it to work perfectly from day one, but the goal is to improve by 1% every week for the rest of the year.
Next time I’ll share with you how Morning Checklists transformed our mornings!
In the meantime, please share with me your experience with Agile parenting in the comments below ☺
Loads of love,
Irina
