Play. Book Summary.
How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul
Stuart Brown with Christopher Vaughan
J P Tarcher/Penguin Putnam; Illustrated edition (25 Jun. 2010)
About the author
Stuart Brown, M.D. is a medical doctor, psychiatrist, clinical researcher, and the founder of the National Institute for Play. He speaks regularly to Fortune 500 companies and groups across the country on the significance of play in our lives. The producer of a three-part PBS series, The Promise of Play, he has also appeared on NPR and was featured in a front-page story in The New York Times Magazine.
Christopher Vaughan has been a journalist for more than twenty years. He cowrote the national bestseller The Promise of Sleep.
About the book:
“I have spent a career studying play, communicating the science of play to the public, and consulting for Fortune 500 companies on how to incorporate it into business. I have used play therapies to help people who are clinically depressed. I frequently talk with groups of parents who inevitably are concerned and conflicted about what constitutes healthy play for their kids. I have gathered and analyzed thousands of case studies that I call play histories. I have found that remembering what play is all about and making it part of our daily lives are probably the most important factors in being a fulfilled human being. The ability to play is critical not only to being happy, but also to sustaining social relationships and being a creative, innovative person. […]
Ultimately, this book is about understanding the role of play and using it to find and express our own core truths. It is about learning to harness a force that has been built into us through millions of years of evolution, a force that allows us to both discover our most essential selves and enlarge our world. We are designed to find fulfillment and creative growth through play.”
Some time ago, we wrote a few articles on play that became very popular on the blog. So I wanted to dig deeper into the topic.
I came across this book after watching Stewart Brown’s inspirational TED talk, where he brings up the idea that play is super important not only for children but for adults as well! Check it out:
Stuart Brown is one of the leading play researchers. He pioneered the studies on the importance of play through his research on murderers, finding a startling common thread in their stories: lack of play in childhood! Since then, he’s interviewed thousands of people, noting a strong correlation between playful activity and success.
In this book, Dr Brown draws on recent research to show us that play is more than just fun. He argues that play is essential to our social skills, adaptability, intelligence, creativity, problem-solving skills and wellbeing in general.
I recommend this book not only to parents but to everyone who wants to live a happy and fulfilled life.
Let’s look at our favourite insights.
Key insights:
What is play?
“Sometimes running is play, and sometimes it is not. What is the difference between the two? It really depends on the emotions experienced by the runner. Play is a state of mind, rather than an activity. Remember the definition of play: an absorbing, apparently purposeless activity that provides enjoyment and a suspension of self-consciousness and sense of time. It is also self-motivating and makes you want to do it again. We have to put ourselves in the proper emotional state in order to play (although an activity can also induce the emotional state of play).”
Play. What is it? Dr Brown says that defining play is like explaining a joke – it will take the joy out of it. So the best way to understand play is to connect to the emotion of play. Although, he suggests the seven properties of play:
- Purposelessness (done for its own sake)
- Voluntary nature
- Inherent attraction
- Freedom from time
- Diminished consciousness of self
- Improvisational potential
- Continuation desire
Now. All mammals (and also other animals) play. What is interesting about humans is that we don’t stop playing once we grow up into adulthood. We are actually designed to continue playing throughout the life. Why? He writes:
“The truth is that play seems to be one of the most advanced methods nature has invented to allow a complex brain to create itself.”
A complex brain means we can be more creative, innovative, adaptable and smart…which leads to a higher survival rate!
While play is absolutely essential for children’s healthy development (check out our article The Power of Play – Why Playtime Matters?), Dr Brown brings up the research showing that adults should take play seriously too:
“Many studies have demonstrated that people who continue to play games, who continue to explore and learn throughout life, are not only much less prone to dementia and other neurological problems, but are also less likely to get heart disease and other afflictions that seem like they have nothing to do with the brain.”
So play not only boosts creativity and innovation in adulthood but also profoundly affects our health and is essential to our wellbeing in general. He also adds: “When we stop playing, we stop developing, and when that happens, the laws of entropy take over—things fall apart.”
Play is an excellent tool for self-development. At any age. And yes, it is fun!
Play personalities
“As we grow older, we start to have strong preferences for certain types of play over others. Some things float your boat, other don’t. Over the years, I’ve observed that people have a dominant mode of play that falls into one of eight types. I call these play personalities. These categories are not scientifically based, but I’ve found them to be generally accurate.
No one is a perfect example of a single play personality type; most of us are a mix of these categories. At different times and in different situations, people might find themselves playing in a mode that is different than their dominant type. I’ve found that most people recognize themselves in these archetypes and find them useful for discovering their own play personality.”
Wonder what your play personality is? Check out Dr Brown’s list:
- The Joker. Practical joker – loves telling jokes and having a good laugh.
- The Kinesthete. Loves to move – yoga, dance, sport. They think better when and feel most alive when moving.
- The Explorer. Loves to try new stuff and discover new places.
- The Competitor. Loves to play by creating games and playing to win.
- The Director. Loves to organise stuff – throwing parties, taking others on adventures, organising events.
- The Collector. Loves to collect things or experiences.
- The Artist/Creator. Loves making things – whether it’s sculpting, painting, crafts, or gardening. They need to create stuff.
- The Storyteller. Love telling stories through art – novelists, screenwriters, performers.
If you want more play in your life, start with identifying your play personality. Then you can engage more in the activities that bring you the most joy.
My dominant play personality is the Explorer, with a mix of the Kinesthete and the Director. What is yours?
Play and learning
“That’s part of the adaptive power of play: with a pinch of pleasure, it integrates our deep physiological, emotional, and cognitive capacities. And quite without knowing it, we grow. We harmonize the influences within us. Where we may have felt pulled in one direction by the heart and another direction by the head, play can allow us to find a balanced course or a third way. All evidence indicates that the greatest rewards of play come when it arises naturally from within.”
Play boosts learning. Our curiosity brings up our play drive from within, and we start exploring, learning new things and growing.
That reminds me of Dr Peter Grey’s ideas in his brilliant book Free to Learn:
“Children do not need more schooling. They need less schooling and more freedom. They also need safe enough environments in which to play and explore, and they need free access to the tools, ideas, and people (including playmates) that can help them along their own chosen paths.”
Dr Brown also adds:
“Play isn’t the enemy of learning, it’s learning’s partner. Play is like fertilizer for brain growth. It’s crazy not to use it.”
Love it.
Play. Learn. Grow.
Work and Play
“Finally, and perhaps most important, work that is devoid of play is either boring or a grind. We can get pretty far through sheer willpower, and some people have prodigious powers of perfectionism, self-denial, and suffering. Ultimately, though, people cannot succeed in rising to the highest levels of their field if they don’t enjoy what they are doing, if they don’t make time for play. Having a fierce dedication to grinding out the work is often not enough. Without some sense of fun or play, people usually can’t make themselves stick to any discipline long enough to master it.
People always say that you can reach the top by “keeping your nose to the grindstone,” but as sports performance specialist Chuck Hogan observes, this is not true. People reach the highest levels of a discipline because they are driven by love, by fun, by play. “The great performers perform as they do, and do so with such grace, because they love what they are doing,” Hogan observes. “It’s not work. It’s play.””
Although you can turn pretty much any work into play, you must love what you do to achieve great performance!
That resonates with Angela Duckworth’s ideas in Grit, where she tells us that falling in love with what you do is one thing, and staying in love with your work is something that helps you achieve great results. Angela writes that the high-achievers have a gritty passion for what they do:
“What I mean by a passion is not just that you have something you care about. What I mean is that you care about the same ultimate goal in an abiding, loyal, steady way. You are not capricious. Each day, you wake up thinking of the questions you fell asleep thinking about. You are, in a sense, pointing in the same direction, ever eager to take even the smallest step forward than to take a step to the side, toward some other destination. At the extreme, one might call your focus obsessive. Most of your actions derive their significance from their allegiance to your ultimate concern, your life philosophy. You have your priorities in order.”
Play may help you not only to fall in love with your work but also to stay in love with your work!
Question for you: do you love what you do? How can you bring more play into your work?
Love Potion No 1
“The defining factor among couples who were able to find romance again, and even to find new fields of emotional intimacy previously unexplored, was that they were able to find ways to play together. Those who played together, stayed together. Those who didn’t either split or, worse yet, simply endured an unhappy and dysfunctional relationship.”
Dr Brown tells us that play can also improve our romantic relationship. In fact, he claims that play is the Love potion No 1! One simple strategy you could use to boost your relationship is to do something new together with your partner regularly:
“…couples that made a point of doing things that were new and unfamiliar had a much higher satisfaction measure than the couples who spent time doing familiar things. Aron hypothesizes that being engaged in novel activities kicks up the brain’s level of dopamine, a neurotransmitter essential for pleasure. In short, their brains are achieving a state of play.”
That reminds me of Suzie Pileggi Pawelski and James Pawelski – in their great book Happy Together, they recommend couples taking up new and interesting activities together to build harmonious passion in their relationship.
Dr Brown also highlights:
“In order to keep things hot, people have to keep growing, keep exploring new territory in themselves and each other. In short, they have to play.”
Yep. You got the point. Play makes us better partners.
Play and joy
“For me, this gets to the heart of the matter. Play is how we are made, how we develop and adjust to change. It can foster innovation and lead to multibillion-dollar fortunes. But in the end the most significant aspect of play is that it allows us to express our joy and connect most deeply with the best in ourselves, and in others. If your life has become barren, play brings it to life again. Yes, as Freud said, life is about love and work. Yet play transcends these, infuses them with liveliness and stills time’s arrow. Play is the purest expression of love.”
Love it.
Play is one of the best ways to connect with each other! And with yourself as well.
So play with your family, friends, and kids – have fun! And let play become your number one self-care routine.
More play means more flow. And more flow means more joy and happiness.
Guidelines for play
Most of us get more serious with time, leaving less and less space for play in our life. Here are the guidelines from Dr Brown on how to bring more play into your life:
- Take your play history: spend some time thinking about what you did as a child that really excited you and gave you joy. Then identify what you can do in your current life to re-create that playful feeling.
- Expose yourself to play: start consciously noticing opportunities for play in your day-to-day life and engage in play! Whether it’s throwing a ball to a dog, running in a park or just stopping and smelling flowers – it’s all play!
- Give yourself permission to be playful, to be a beginner: don’t worry that you might look silly. Play is all about exploration, meaning you might do things you’ve never done before. Approach play with the growth mindset!
- Fun is your North Star, but you don’t always have to head north. When looking for a play activity, the easiest way to find what works for you is to experience what’s fun. But also remember that some play isn’t easy fun.
- Be active: to jump-start play, just MOVE! Motion is the most basic form of play. And it brings joy! In The How Of Happiness, Sonja Lyubomirski highlights that physical activity is one of the 12 happiness activities.
- Free yourself of fear: find out what in your surroundings prevents a sense of trust and wellbeing that would allow play to emerge. Find your “secret space”.
- Nourish your mode of play, and be with people who nourish it, too: practice play! Make it a habit and deliberately engage in the play activities! And surround yourself with the people who would support you in your play.
Action steps for you:
- Think about your play personality – what type of play do you enjoy the most? Make a plan on how you can engage in play activities regularly.
- Bring more play into your relationship – start with taking up new and interesting activities together as a couple.
- Connect to your child through play – identify the activities you both enjoy and play! Check out our notes on Playful Parenting by Lawrence Cohen to get more ideas.
Quotes from the book:
