About Todd Herman

Todd Herman is an author, speaker, and coach focused on mental toughness, leadership, and peak performance. He’s been featured on NFL Films, Fox Sports, PBS, Entrepreneur, and on the Today Show. His training programs have been delivered to over 2,000,000 people and have won numerous awards, including the ‘Global Leadership & Skill Development Program of the Year’—twice. Hundreds of thousands of achievers subscribe to his popular email newsletter at toddherman.me.

He’s a popular speaker at major events and his coaching and training systems are used by teams in the NFL, NBA, and NHL, as well as, major companies around the world. Through his 90 Day Year company, Todd’s system for entrepreneurial performance has been implemented by more than 250,000 small businesses since 2014. And his company was the recipient of the Inc. 500 fastest growing company award.

About The Book

“The Alter Ego Effect was built to support ambitious people doing hard things. It’s constructed to help you be more resilient, creative, optimistic, and courageous. I’ve had a sports science and peak performance training company for twenty-two years, and what you’re about to unwrap is based not only on the work I’ve done with thousands of amateur, pro, and Olympic athletes, but also the art and science of how we work.

It’s been shaped by the data collected from the more than seventy-five thousand business owners and professionals who have implemented this strategy. Their reports back about the wins, successes, and breakthroughs along with the tweaks and changes they’ve made have all been used to refine this strategy. […]

An Alter Ego is a useful tool to help you, me, and others handle the adversity of life with more resiliency. Explore our creative sides, while protecting a fragile self. Be far more intentional about who we’re trying to be on the Fields of Play.”

I came across Todd Herman’s work a while back after hearing him talking on a podcast. I even followed him on Instagram, and his book landed on my “one day, when life slows down” reading list. Then Audible flashed it in my recommendations… and honestly, that felt like the universe throwing a book at my face.

And wow – what a book. The Alter Ego Effect is easily one of the best things I’ve read this year. If you know me, you know I’m obsessed with peak performance, play, and anything that helps us understand human potential without making us feel like broken robots. Herman checks all those boxes – science-backed, story-rich, and surprisingly fun.

I finished the audiobook, then immediately bought the paper copy because some books you just need to hold. And yes, I went full nerd and created my own alter egos for my two main fields of play. Zero regrets.

This book is packed with gold – and I genuinely think everyone should read it. Whether you want to show up as your best self in sports, parenting, leadership, relationships, or just surviving the bedtime routine, this one hits home.

Here are my favourite insights. Let’s dive in.

Key Insights

Activating Your Heroic Self

“Well, the idea of using Alter Egos to create some distance between how you currently see yourself and how you’d like to perform is not only smart, it’s backed by research. A lot of my clients initially talk about how their Alter Egos protected them, only to later realize that their Alter Ego is actually who they always were and who they had always wanted to be.

This idea of creating distance between our identities is something that researchers are starting to validate. A recent University of Minnesota study of four- and six-year-old children found that to teach kids perseverance parents should teach children to pretend to be like Batman or another favorite character– because it creates psychological distance, the very thing my clients like Ian talk about, and what I’ve observed happens when people create alter egos.

The study split kids into three groups. The researchers put a toy in a locked glass box and gave the kids a ring of keys. The catch? No key worked. The researchers wanted to see how to improve the children’s executive functioning skills and were interested in seeing how long they would try to unlock the box and what they would try. To help the kids, the researchers gave them what they called strategies. One strategy was to pretend to be Batman. The kids could even wear a cape! Dora the Explorer was a choice, too.

Researchers found that the kids who worked the longest were the ones who impersonated Batman or Dora, followed by children who just pretended, and, finally, the kids who remained in the first-person perspective. The kids impersonating Batman or Dora were flexible thinkers, they tried the most keys, and they were calmer. One four-year-old even said, ‘Batman never gets frustrated.’

The study shows us the power of identity – the power of how we see yourselves – and what happens when we, for a moment in time, can call forth a different self.”

This quote is from the sub chapter Activating Your Heroic Self, and honestly, it nails the whole point: your Alter Ego is a performance superpower.

When you know who you want to be on your “field of play” – whether that’s parenting, work, sports, or relationship – you can choose an Alter Ego that helps you show up as that person. Think Clark Kent slipping off the glasses to become Superman. (Todd actually uses this example – and guess what? Clark Kent is Superman’s Alter Ego, not visa versa – check out this video.)

And this isn’t just feel-good superhero talk. It’s backed by a mountain of research on identity and priming.

• Daniel Kahneman writes about priming in Thinking, Fast and Slow – how small cues can shift our behaviour without us noticing.
• Ellen Langer shows how our mindset can ripple out into our actions and even our health – her famous Counterclockwise study is basically Alter Ego science in disguise (check out our notes on her amazing book The Mindful Body).

And honestly? I use this stuff with my boys all the time. When I need them to walk faster, I ask them to switch into Super Sonic Mode and boom – instant speed upgrade. My middle son turns into Robert Lewandowski (“but better”) the moment he steps onto the football pitch.

It also made me think about role play in childhood. Maybe kids don’t pretend to be superheroes just because it’s fun. Maybe it’s evolution’s way of letting them practice stepping into power, courage, and competence – long before they have words for it.

By the way, the book comes with a fantastic companion resource guide – practical, simple, and packed with tools. Highly recommend grabbing it, so you can start creating your very own Alter Ego.

The Extraordinary World

“The Extraordinary World is extraordinary because we tackle life head-on, we challenge it, and we don’t let distractions slow us down. It also allows you to suspend disbelief about your capabilities, because you’re taking an Alter Ego onto the Field of Play. […] Plus, it turns out there’s research to back up the power of intentionally bringing predefined Superpowers to your world.

Martin Seligman and Christopher Peterson are two of the most widely cited researchers of happiness and well-being. Over the period of a decade, they studied almost one hundred cultures around the globe. The team tested 150,000 people to determine how people that were coping with adversity and the challenges of life operated. They found that they people who identified their core characteristics or Superpowers and deliberately and intentionally focused on Activating those Superpowers were more resilient and fulfilled.”

Now, here is the thing – you always have a choice:

You can stay in the Ordinary World, where the “real you” feels trapped behind old stories, self-doubt, and that nagging sense of not yet.

Or you can choose the Extraordinary World, where you deliberately show up as the version of you who goes after what you want – the version that has been there all along but hasn’t had the space to breathe. And Your Alter Ego can take you there.

And I love how Todd reframes character strengths as Superpowers. That tiny shift in language does something powerful. It helps you see your strengths not as “nice personality traits” but as assets you can deploy with intention. As Ryan Niemiec & Robert McGrath write in The Power of Character Strengths:

“Character strengths are basic elements of our identity. When we express these character strengths through our thoughts and actions, research says we tend to feel happier, more connected, and more productive.”

This is the heart of the Extraordinary World: Know your Superpowers. Activate them on purpose. Use them in service of something bigger than yourself.

Show up with a strength for two, and give the world what only you can bring.

And when you choose your Alter Ego – whether it’s an animal, a fictional character like Batman, a world-class performer, a family member you admire, or someone from your own circle – let your signature strengths be the foundation. Your Alter Ego isn’t meant to replace who you are. It’s designed to unlock the strengths that are already part of you but haven’t been fully expressed.

P.S. If you haven’t taken the Signature Strengths survey yet, do it. It’s genuinely eye-opening – and a perfect starting point for building your own Alter Ego (and it’s free!).

Your Field of Play and Alter Ego

“There are two reasons I call it the Field of Play. The first one is the obvious reference to the sports world and the idea that there are chalk lines, borders, and a starting and end point to the activity happening on the field. This is to help you recognize that we carry ourselves into many different fields in our lives, many different stages and arenas. And each one demands a different set of skills, attitudes, and mindsets to be successful.

It’s one of the reasons why the Alter Ego Effect is so powerful: you become truly intentional about who’s ending up on that field.

The second reason I use Field of Play is because of the final word, play. It’s to remind you that you can have fun with this process. Life is already hard enough, and serious things or real struggles are a natural part of the unfolding of life. But that doesn’t mean you can’t take that same playful attitude you had when you were a kid and play with this concept and have fun with it.”

If we’re calling character strengths Superpowers, then it only makes sense to give the areas of our lives a name that matches the energy: Field of Play.

And honestly, I love this phrase – the mix of field (structure, boundaries, intention) and play (curiosity, lightness, experimentation). It captures exactly what we forget as adults: serious growth doesn’t have to feel so serious.

As Stuart Brown writes in his brilliant book Play:

“Life without play is a grinding, mechanical existence organized around doing the things necessary for survival.”

Exactly. And yet most of us are trying to “perform better” on every field at once – parenting, relationships, work, personal goals – as if we’re supposed to be champions everywhere, all the time.

But as Greg McKeown reminds us in Essentialism: you can do anything, but not everything.

So if you truly want to feel the impact of the Alter Ego Effect, don’t spread yourself thin. Pick one Field of Play to transform first. The one that’s giving you the most friction, heartache, or frustration. Start there. Go all in on that one field.

A question for you: On which Field of Play do you want to show up differently? Parenting? Your relationship? Your business? Your health or sport? Pick one – just one – and begin crafting your Alter Ego for that arena. That’s where the real shift starts.

The Moments of Impact

“Your Moment of Impact comes down to knowing what outcomes you’re supposed to create on your Field of Play. What are the traits, capabilities, skills, attitudes, beliefs, values, and all the other bits and pieces that you need to succeed? […]

What you’re looking for are those moments that will give you the highest rate of return, or the moments that hold the opportunity to provide you the highest percentage of return.

You’re looking for those Moments of Impact where you sometimes bring your Heroic Self, but not nearly enough of the time. If you could show up differently, you’d get a different result.”

As you build an Alter Ego for your Field of Play, you’ll notice certain situations that consistently challenge you – the pressure points where your old patterns show up the strongest. These are your Moments of Impact. The moments where your Alter Ego has the biggest opportunity to step in, take the lead, and change the trajectory.

These moments are not everyday, all-day events. They’re the small windows where showing up as your Heroic Self would genuinely shift the outcome: the hard conversation, the stressful decision, the toddler meltdown in the middle of the grocery store, the big meeting, the game-deciding shot.

The companion guide includes a long list of examples – definitely worth exploring if you want to map out your own. This idea echoes a beautiful question Greg McKeown asks in Essentialism:

“What would happen if we could figure out the one thing you could do that would make the highest contribution?”

The same wisdom applies here. You don’t need to be your Heroic Self 24/7. That’s not realistic – and honestly, it’s not the point. But if you intentionally tap into your Alter Ego during those key moments – the ones that matter most, the ones that ripple outward – that’s where the real shift happens. That’s where you step out of the ordinary world and into the extraordinary one, one moment of impact at a time.

Activate Your Alter Ego

“Using your Totem helps to train you to call forth that Heroic Self.

Over time, you may not even need your Totem; the choice is yours. […]

I still like to wear my glasses, because I enjoy wearing them but also as a reminder to you and others that this is a natural part of life and being human. […]

It’s the same idea when you put on a ring, wipe your face with a towel, or put on a uniform. Every time you engage with your Totem or Artifact, you’re psychologically calling forth everything your Alter Ego embodies, from the traits you’ve selected to the backstory you’ve created to the mission you’re on.”

One of my favourite parts of the book is how practical Todd gets about building your Alter Ego. It’s not just theory – it’s a step-by-step process. First, you get clear on your goal (honestly the hardest part). Then you pick the one Field of Play where you want to show up differently. After that, you identify which actions, traits, and mindsets actually need shifting.

And then comes the fun part:

You choose an Alter Ego that embodies exactly what you want more of – someone (or something) you emotionally connect with. An athlete, a fictional character, an animal, a mentor, a relative… whatever sparks something in you.

Once you’ve chosen your Alter Ego, you have to activate it. The easiest way? A trigger – a Totem, or Artifact  that helps you switch into your Alter Ego instantly.

Todd uses glasses. When he first started his business, he worried he looked too young for anyone to take him seriously. He’d noticed the “serious, smart guys” wore glasses, so even though his vision was perfect, he bought a pair. They became his artifact – the thing that helped him step into a more confident, capable version of himself.

And the point of the totem is not to wear it 24/7. You use it only during your Moments of Impact – the high-leverage times when you want your Alter Ego to take over. The totem can be absolutely anything: a bracelet, a pair of socks, a jacket, a watch, a pen, a notebook, even a specific coffee mug.

(Cue my realisation mid-typing that my Sweaty Betty leggings are basically my accidental “parenting totem.” My boys are so active that I joke I’ve had to adopt full athletic wear as my mum uniform. Probably time to choose something more intentional… though I did just order a new pair on Black Friday!)

Whatever you choose, the magic is in the meaning. Your totem is a small, physical reminder of the bigger, braver self you’re stepping into.

Deliver the Ground Punch 

“Creating the Alter Ego initiates a healthy conversation in your head. Before creating the Alter Ego, maybe the only voice you heard on this particular Field of Play was critical, judgmental, and aimed at convincing you to play it safe. Because you’ve gone through the process of giving the Enemy a name, […], and you’ve created this Alter Ego and given it a name, you’ve created a clear duality. You’re no longer living in a world where the conversation in your head is with “yourself” and getting caught in a “merry-go-round” conversation that doesn’t lead anywhere.

The Alter Ego and the Field of Play it’s operating on create a dividing line with the Enemy. And now you can talk to the Enemy when it shows up to pull you into the sidelines of life, where you become a spectator. Make no mistake, the Enemy is a part of us, and it’s never going to vanish from existence. However, now you have this potent force to combat it, the Alter Ego.”

This is where the idea of delivering the “ground punch” to your Enemy comes in.

The Enemy – the inner critic, the self-doubter, the catastrophiser, the part of you that loves playing small – isn’t going to politely step aside just because you’ve decided to live bravely. It shows up loudly, especially on the Fields of Play that matter most.

But once you’ve created your Alter Ego, you’re no longer trapped in a one-sided argument with yourself. You’ve drawn a line in the sand. There’s you, and there’s your Alter Ego… and then there’s the Enemy on the other side.

It creates clarity. Separation. Power.

And when the Enemy starts whispering its usual script – “You can’t.” “You’re not ready.” “Don’t embarrass yourself.” “You always mess this up.” – you now have the ability to hit back. Not with self-hate or shame, but with grounded confidence: “Not today. My Heroic Self is on the field now.”

That’s the ground punch: the moment your Alter Ego steps forward, plants its feet, and refuses to let the Enemy drag you back to the sidelines.

It doesn’t mean the Enemy disappears. Todd is very clear on that – it’s part of being human. But now, instead of being dominated by it, you have a force equal to it. A stronger voice. A braver identity. A version of you designed to fight for what matters.

And every time your Alter Ego stands up to the Enemy – even in small, ordinary moments – you reinforce the shift from the Ordinary World to the Extraordinary one.

Action Steps For You

1. Create Your Alter Ego: Start by defining who you want to be on your chosen Field of Play. Think about the traits, mindsets, and skills your Heroic Self needs to succeed – the version of you that shows up confidently, intentionally, and resiliently. Give your Alter Ego a name and a backstory. Make it real, relatable, and inspiring, so that every time you call on it, you feel a clear shift into that empowered version of yourself.

2. Pick a Totem to Activate It: Choose a physical item or ritual that acts as a trigger for your Alter Ego. This could be anything – a pair of glasses, a ring, a notebook, a special piece of clothing, or even a simple gesture. The idea is that the Totem immediately signals to your mind and body: “It’s time to step into your Heroic Self.” Use it during your Moments of Impact – the high-leverage situations where showing up differently will make the biggest difference.

3. The Coffee Shop Challenge (Your First Quest): Your first mission as your Alter Ego is playful but powerful: head to a local coffee shop, order your favourite drink, and fully step into your Alter Ego while doing it. Notice how your posture, confidence, voice, and mindset shift when you inhabit this new version of yourself.

Quotes From The Book

“You have stages you’re already performing on and stages you might like to perform on, and my question is: Would you like to show up there as the heroic version of yourself?”

“That’s all we’re doing with the Alter Ego—we’re consciously and intentionally choosing to bring the best version of our ‘selves’ forward for the different roles we play in life.”

“The best Alter Ego is the one you have the deepest emotional connection with; emotional connection trumps everything.”

“We are judged in our lives by what we do, not by what we think or intend to do.”

“The Core Self is where possibility exists. It’s this deep inner core where a creative force resides waiting to be activated by the power of intention.”

“The truth of life is, no matter how successful you are, no matter the stratospheres you reach, there are times when you still struggle, when you still feel you’re underperforming. Everyone, even the world’s most elite athletes and most successful businesspeople, struggles somewhere on their playing field. The ones who succeed are the ones willing to look at their game film or data and get honest about how they’re showing up. Sometimes you lack the courage to try, and sometimes you lack the courage to admit you’ve been trying the wrong things.”