Parentotheca’s Newsletter
Learn. Parent. Grow.
Issue #11
👋 Hello Friends
The last few months have stretched me.
Not in a neat, inspiring way. More in a constant-firefighting, just-when-I-think-I’ve-sorted-one-thing-two-more-drop-on-me kind of way.
There were exciting moments – like publishing a book – and there were also plenty of nail-biting, I-can’t-take-this-anymore moments. A few things felt completely out of my control.
So I stopped writing for a while.
Not because I had nothing to say, but because I had too much life happening all at once.
And maybe you know that feeling too.
Parenting doesn’t pause when life gets stressful. Children still need breakfast, shoes, snacks, hugs, boundaries, emotional regulation, and help finding the one tiny Lego piece that suddenly matters more than anything else in the world.
So this month, I want to talk about stress.
Not the kind of stress advice that tells us to “just reduce stress” – because sometimes we simply can’t. Sometimes life is full. Sometimes there are deadlines, worries, decisions, work demands, family pressures, and a child who needs us right in the middle of it all.
The more useful question for me recently has been:
What can I do when I can’t remove the stress, but I still need to parent through it?
Because the goal is not to avoid stress completely. The goal is to become more stress-resistant – more aware, more resourced, and less likely to pass our tension straight into the family atmosphere.
This issue is about the tools and ideas that helped me come back to myself.
Let’s dive in.
🔍 Monthly Insight: Reframe Stress to Build Resilience
One idea that really stayed with me comes from Alia Crum’s research on stress mindset.
She asks a powerful question:
What if stress is not always as bad as we’ve been told?
Of course, chronic, overwhelming stress can harm us. But not every racing heart or tight stomach means something is wrong.
Sometimes stress is the body saying:
This matters. Wake up. Focus. Gather your resources.
When we move from a stress-is-debilitating mindset to a stress-can-be-enhancing mindset, stress can become energy. It can sharpen attention, increase motivation, and help us rise to a challenge.
I once explained this to my boys, and they came up with the perfect image: a cheetah hunting.
The cheetah feels stress. Its heart races. Its body is alert. But that stress helps it run faster, focus better, and move with precision. The stress helps the cheetah perform.
I think about that image often now.
Before a difficult conversation. Before an exam. Before a competition. Before a big decision.
Stress is not always a sign that something is wrong. Sometimes it is a sign that something important is happening.
So now, when I feel overwhelmed by projects, decisions, and mental load, I try to ask:
How can this energy help me focus?
What is my body preparing me to do?
It doesn’t make stress disappear. But it changes my relationship with it.
And that matters.
📚 From the Library: How To Become Stress-Proof
Over the last few months, I kept returning to Stress-Proof by Dr Mithu Storoni.
The central idea is simple but powerful:
Modern life makes it almost impossible to avoid stress completely. So our focus should be on preventing stress from becoming chronic and toxic.
In other words, we need to build a stronger internal stress-defence system.
Dr Storoni shows that resilience is not just about mindset. It is also about the brain, body, hormones, sleep, inflammation, blood sugar, motivation, and emotional regulation.
What I love about this book is that it gives you a bigger map.
Because sometimes breathwork helps.
And sometimes we also need sleep, movement, better routines, steadier blood sugar, healthier boundaries, emotional support, and a kinder inner voice.
If you’re in a season where the usual stress tools don’t seem to reach deep enough, this book is a wonderful place to start.
🛠️ Parentotheca’s Toolbox: The Grateful Flow
Another practice I kept coming back to is The Grateful Flow from The Tools by Phil Stutz and Barry Michels.
When we’re stressed, the mind can become very convincing.
It says:
Everything is hard.
You’re failing.
You can’t cope.
This will never end.
Negative thoughts arrive loudly and feel very believable. If we don’t interrupt them, they can shape the whole day.
The Grateful Flow is a simple way to break that spiral.
Here’s how to practise it:
“1. Silently say to yourself specific things in your life you’re grateful for, particularly items you’d normally take for granted. Go slowly and feel the gratitude for each item. Don’t use the same items repeatedly – stretch for new ones.
2. After about 30 seconds, stop thinking and focus on the physical sensation of gratefulness. You’ll feel it coming directly from your heart. This energy you feel is the Grateful Flow.
3. As this energy emanates from your heart, your chest will soften and open. In this state you will feel an overwhelming presence approach you, filled with the power of infinite giving. You’ve made a connection to the Source.”
That’s it.
It doesn’t magically fix the hard thing. But it reminds us that the hard thing is not the whole story.
There is still warmth. Still love. Still beauty. Still something steady underneath the chaos.
Try it.
🆕 What’s New on Parentotheca
Here’s what dropped this month:
✅ New Book Summary:
- 10 to 25 by David Yeager
🧭 Coach’s Corner: I’m Here to Help
Parenting can be the most meaningful role of our lives.
And also one of the most demanding.
You can love your children deeply and still feel lost.
You can be a thoughtful parent and still get triggered.
You can read all the books and still need support turning insight into everyday practice.
That’s where coaching can help.
As a parent and life coach, I help parents grow in confidence, clarity, and emotional steadiness – so they can raise resilient, emotionally healthy children and build a more connected family life.
I don’t offer generic advice or quick fixes. I help you understand what is happening beneath the surface and create a personalised roadmap for your family.
Not sure if coaching is right for you?
Have a look at my Will You Benefit From My Coaching? checklist.
✨ Bonus for newsletter subscribers: Get 50% off your first coaching session. Just reply to this email and I’ll send you a private booking link.
Let’s make this the turning point.
Thank you for being part of this journey.
Parenting is hard. But don’t wish it was easier, wish you were better.
Talk soon,
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