Parentotheca’s Newsletter
Learn. Parent. Grow.
Issue #9
👋 Hello Friends
This year started intense in our house: new projects, celebrations, a packed kids’ schedule… and an unexpected trip to A&E (rough-and-tumble play has consequences sometimes).
And in the middle of the chaos, I noticed something: when everything feels loud and out of control, I come back to one tool that instantly realigns me as a parent and anchors the whole family.
It saves sanity, creates consistency, simplifies decisions, and quietly builds the skills our kids will need later.
Today I’m sharing it with you because it can change the feel of your home.
Quick favour before we dive in: I’m growing Parentotheca on Instagram so I can reach more amazing parents like you. If you’re not following yet, please do – your follow genuinely helps.
Let’s go.
🔍 Monthly Insight: The Tool to Program Your Child’s Inner GPS
Most parenting struggles are not “behaviour problems.”
They’re navigation problems.
Your job isn’t to control your child’s behaviour.
Your job is to help them build an internal GPS – a set of values, skills and identity-based beliefs that guide them through hard moments.
And the tool that does that best?
A Family Manifesto (aka Family Mission Statement)
A Family Manifesto gives you and your kids:
- Clarity on what matters most
- A shared direction for decisions (discipline, routines, priorities)
- A common language for values
- A stronger sense of belonging (“this is who we are”)
Parenting gets lighter when you know your destination. And kids build integrity when they understand the “why” behind the rules.
⭐ How It Sounds in Real Life (Three Moments From This Month)
We’ve had the usual: disappointments, homework battles, chore refusals, sibling rivalry, and the occasional “why is someone crying?” mystery.
And in the middle of it, our Family Manifesto became the script I returned to again and again:
1) Failure & disappointment
“I know you’re upset you didn’t get a medal. Sometimes we win, sometimes we learn. What will you do differently next time?”
Result: tears → plan → signed up for the next two competitions.
2) Homework power struggle
“I know it feels like too much. Your teacher wants you to practise for SATs. Practice makes progress. And you’re someone who doesn’t give up – you’re a learner.”
Result: resistance softened → homework done (yes, right before bedtime and yes, without me standing over him).
3) Chores refusal
“I know chores are unpleasant—nobody loves them. That’s why we share chores. Everyone contributes. Your finger hurts? Here’s a glove. If there’s a problem, there’s a solution.”
Result: dishwasher unloaded → proud kid.
And no power struggle.
This is the shift:
“This is how we do it here.”
“This is who we are.”
“You’ve got this.”
That’s identity. That’s values. That’s leadership.
And honestly? It’s the most powerful parenting tool I know.
P.S. If you want help creating your Family Manifesto, reply to this email or book a free 15-minute discovery call.
📚 From the Library: Authentic Success (The Definition That Changed My Parenting)
“While we all hope our children will do well in school, we hope with even greater fervor that they will do well in life. Our job is to help them to know and appreciate themselves deeply; to approach the world with zest; to find work that is exciting and satisfying, friends and spouses who are loving and loyal; and to hold a deep belief that they have something meaningful to contribute to society. This is what it means to teach our children well.”
Madeline Levin. Teach Your Children Well.
Years ago, if you asked me what I wanted for my kids, I would’ve said what most parents say:
“I want them to be happy and successful.”
After reading 100+ books on parenting, positive psychology, and personal development… my definition evolved. It got sharper. More grounded.
Madeline Levine names it beautifully – “authentic success” – and it became part of the foundation of our Family Manifesto.
In the book, she outlines 7 coping skills kids need to unlock their potential and build authentic success – I strongly recommend this book to every parent!
🛠️ Parentotheca’s Toolbox: Parent With The End In Mind
Here’s a powerful question to re-centre you when you feel reactive:
What am I trying to build here – long-term?
We have three boys. Different personalities, different strengths… but the same vision:
We want them to grow into happy, responsible, resilient adults who can navigate toward authentic success.
That vision shapes hundreds of tiny decisions every week. That’s what experts call Parenting With The End In Mind.
It starts with two reflections:
- Who do you want your children to become? (values, traits, mindset, character)
- Which parent do you need to become to guide them there?
When you write this down, you stop parenting by mood and start parenting by mission.
And yes – this pairs perfectly with your Family Manifesto.
🆕 What’s New on Parentotheca
Here’s what dropped this month:
✅ New Book Summary:
- The Gardener and The Carpenter by Alison Gopnik
🧭 Coach’s Corner: I’m Here to Help
Parenting can be the most meaningful – and most demanding – role you’ll ever take on.
And you don’t have to do it alone.
As a parent and life coach, I’m here to walk alongside you, helping you grow in confidence, skill, and clarity, so you can raise resilient, emotionally healthy kids and build the connected, joyful family you want.
I won’t just hand you generic advice. I’ll guide you step-by-step with a clear, personalised roadmap to transform your parenting, deepen your relationships, and support your child in developing the mindset and life skills they need to truly thrive.
Not sure if coaching is right for you?
Have a look at my Will you benefit from my coaching? checklist to see if it aligns with what you want and need as a parent.
✨ Bonus for newsletter subscribers: Get 50% off your first coaching session. Just reply to this email and I’ll send you a private booking link.
Let’s make this the turning point.
Thank you for being part of this journey.
Parenting is hard. But don’t wish it was easier, wish you were better.
Talk soon,
Irina
