Our thoughts affect our emotions, mood, and, ultimately, our actions. Therefore, if we learn how to manage our thoughts and feelings, this will profoundly change the way we show up in life and the results we create.
In our family, we believe that words matter. That’s the powerful tool we can use to help children develop the right mindset from a very young age. Obviously, the GROWTH mindset.
So today, we want to share our new favourite Growth Mindset mantra:
No pressure, no diamonds.
Last weekend, we went with the boys to a geological museum to explore all the different kinds of rocks, fossil fuels, prehistoric bones, and other stuff people find in the ground. First of all, it was an awe-inspiring experience for all of us. And secondly, it was an excellent opportunity to teach the kids one important lesson.
After admiring mammoth remains for a while, we went to the graphite display – a shiny black rock that people use for making pencils and batteries (first WOW for kids). Then I showed them my engagement ring and said that the crystal clear diamond is also (kind of) made out of a rock like this. Double WOW. Boys’ eyes popped with the big question: “But HOW?”.
So we briefly explained that dark and soft graphite turns into a hard clear crystal under big pressure (and high temperature). Here is a little explainer video we’ve also watched later at home:
That’s really cool. And absolutely mind-blowing for curious minds. So they’ve learned an interesting fact:
No pressure, no diamonds.
And it also led to another, I would even say, more meaningful discussion.
The same thing happens with human beings. We need pressure (challenges, failures and obstacles) to turn into a tough and shiny diamond. Think about it:
We need to do hard things to get better.
We need to put effort consistently to get better.
We need to fail so we can get better.
That means that if we want to catch a glimpse of our ultimate potential, we need to be willing to constantly get out of our comfort zone.
Become comfortable being uncomfortable.
Getting into FLOW to GROW.
That made me also think that it is a super important mantra for parents. That’s exactly what we need to say to ourselves when we see our child struggling. Whether when they are trying to get dressed by themselves for the first time or failing a final exam at high school. Don’t try to save them from this pain. Instead, help them thrive through these difficulties by offering your non-anxious presence, warmth and support.
That’s the only way for them to develop resilience, a growth mindset and grit.
Let your kids struggle. Let your kids fail. Let them do hard things.
No pressure, no diamonds.
Repeat it to yourself every time you feel under pressure, and teach this super powerful mantra to your kids.
Loads of love,
Irina and Dawid
