When children know how to play independently, it’s pure bliss for everyone. Parents finally get a momentary escape from their little tornadoes, allowing them to sip on that scorching cup of tea without interruption (now that’s what I call true luxury). And for the kids, it’s not just fun, but a chance to learn some serious life lessons along the way. We have extensively discussed this topic in our previous articles “The Power of Play – Why Playtime Matters?” and “4 Reasons Why Our Children Play Less Now (And The Scary Consequences You Didn’t Think About)”.
Today we want to share with you 11 practical ideas on HOW you can encourage more free play at your home.
You know what every other parent says when they spot us with our kids?, “Wow! Three boys!” And you know what usually comes next? “Do they play together?”
And we always proudly say, “YES!”. Our boys thoroughly enjoy playing with each other, and they also relish solitary playtime. Needless to say, this greatly simplifies our lives.
Most parents would continue: “Oh, lucky you!”
Well, that’s not about luck, I guess. That’s about consistent effort and (not so) hard work. The biggest secret sauce here is that we actively encourage free play, and we do so wholeheartedly.
If you want to be as lucky as we are and savour your free time while your child is playing, we are happy to share our know-how in this article.
11 ideas on how to encourage free play
Here are 11 ideas on how you can bring more free play into your child’s life that we’ve picked from Julie Lythcott-Haims brilliant book “How to raise an adult.”
1. Value free play and embrace it as a developmental necessity for your child.
Unstructured and self-directed play, where children use their imagination and create their own rules, enhances development in all the ways that are essential for becoming independent adults. So free play is as important for kids as good nutrition and sleep. Period.
2. Know your child.
No one in this world knows your child better than you (well, let’s hope it’s the case). What degree of freedom is he ready for? What degree of freedom are you comfortable with?
It’s always hard to find the balance between our anxiety to keep them safe and giving them an opportunity to build the independence and competency that come from free play. So start small – set the limits (time, location, type of activity) you are comfortable with and gradually build up on it.
3. Create agreements with other parents
Your child will need a playmate for free play 🙂 So band together with your child’s friends’ parents to schedule some play dates (e.g. weekends, after school). Considering that everyone is busy nowadays, try to put it into your calendars to ensure that it happens.
Of course, be open for spontaneous playtime – for example, our boys quite often ask if a friend can come over to our house. And those play dates are often the best! In our childhood, we would usually knock on a friend’s door and ask if they could play. These days it might be the option as well.
4. Offer materials and equipment that foster imaginative play
Take a look at the toys in your child’s room – most likely, the majority of them have taken the imagination right out of play. They are whatever the manufacturer says they are. But if you give children a carton box, for example, it can be whatever – a rocket, a car, a house, a cave…the list is endless 🙂
So if you want to foster creativity development through play, you need to provide children with the materials (instead of ready-made toys) – plastic cups, wooden spoons, blocks, boxes, fabric, arts and craft supplies, etc. And let them choose what they want to play with.
And actually, you don’t need to spend a fortune on it – recyclable waste sometimes is the best for creative and imaginative play. Our boys, for example, love making stuff out of whatever they find in a recycling bin.
5. Let your child decide how and what to play.
In free play, our role as parents is to provide materials and opportunities for play. Children need to pick and choose what they want to play with and how. Don’t force your ideas, and don’t try to structure the play. Let your child figure this out.
Sometimes it’s also good to let your child be bored, so he could try to figure out how to get out of this boredom. It builds problem-solving skills and creativity that are super important in life.
6. Work on creating space between you and your child.
On a playground or in a park, practice being at a greater distance than usual, gradually increasing that distance with time. You can sit on a bench with a book instead of following your child everywhere at the playground.
One of the hardest things here is resisting the temptation to get involved in disputes over taking turns or sharing – let your child figure this out by themselves. You can always have a “lessons learnt” session once you get back home.
7. Develop a capacity to wince but not to pounce
Your child may get hurt, and that’s ok. That’s how they learn to take the right amount of risks and embrace the consequences. That’s how the character and resiliance are built. Just have a first-aid kit ready in your bag (and a hug, of course).
8. Create a culture of free outdoor play
Meet more neighbours, create a community, take turns with other parents to watch children when they play. If you are still worried, give your child a cell phone, but make a rule that they use it only when they need to call you (or for creative projects). For enforcing this rule, you will need to team up with other parents. Otherwise, children may end up staring down at their phones instead of playing.
9. Get inspired
Visit places deliberately constructed to offer children all the opportunities to explore, create and tinker (e.g. adventure playgrounds). You can always think about how to bring more places like that into your neighbourhood.
You can also consider nurseries and schools that value free play and student-driven learning (e.g. Montessori or Steiner-Waldorf schools). Our boys, for example, absolutely LOVE our local Forest School.
There could also be an option for older children to join a summer camp focused on free play.
10. Encourage change in your community
Speak about the importance of free play in your community (e.g. with other parents, on your local Facebook group), so you can figure out how to provide a safe environment for children to play and be more independent.
11. Model play
Little eyes are always watching. So give them a good example – adults should play too! Meet up with your friends, have fun and enjoy yourself. Cards, board games, hobbies, sports, dancing…whatever you and your friends fancy.
Model for your children that life is joyful. Moreover, when you bring more play into your life, you boost your creativity! Check out Dr John Cohn’s TED talk about the importance of play for adults – very inspiring!
A question for you –where would you like to start today?
Have a lovely playtime,
Loads of love,
Irina and Dawid
